I haven't been posting much lately. It's not for lack of material, it's just that I've found that every post I've started lately is chock-full of anger and frustration. And so I waited. I waited for something positive to happen, for a moment that would fill me with Christmas-y goodness. And that moment? Has totally failed to materialize.
This Christmas season has just not been one filled with joy so far. The family badness surrounding Thanksgiving have pretty much killed my Christmas spirit. After all, what's more soul crushing than trying to negotiate your family holiday visits based on which family members might be there?
We did put up the tree, which is lovely. Decorating the tree is always fun. I love unwrapping all of the handmade ornaments that the kids have made over the years, especially the ones that contain photos of them. I've been trying hard to hold on to that feeling.
This past weekend I did a craft fair to try to earn extra Christmas money. Not only did I make no money, but I ended up blowing a tire. Yesterday I used the rest of my carefully horded stocking stuffer money to buy not one, but two new tires for my car. I teared up, but forced myself not to cry in front of the mechanics, and most importantly, my kids.
And so yes, here's another whining, frustration filled post. I tried not too, I swear.
However, all of the badness and the financial stresses have really made me rethink Christmas. This year, I'm going to try to focus on the cookie making and the Christmas carols, and make "stuff" the least important part of this holiday. Because honestly? We have a lot. Sometimes I just have to remember that.....