Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Well, it's that time of year again, so I'd like to put in my two-scents on this year's delivery to my house. Not that I don't think you've been keeping up mind you, but I know how hard it must be to keep an eye on things this close to Christmas.

In case you've missed it, G has been having random attacks of rage when his fellow classmates, in the name of helping, get him classroom materials that he wanted to get up and get himself. This week, it was a calculator, which he promptly flung across his room. Though he does seem suitable impressed by your powers ("Can Santa see into my brain???")he is not intimidated enough to behave.

In light of this development, please bring G some notebooks, and pencils. I know he's been asking for a Game Boy and a new Batman computer, but honestly, he needs something quiet and boring to keep him occupied for the numerous times he's been sent to his room lately. A notebook and pencils should not over stimulate him, not be too fun, and hopefully keep him from kicking the walls.

As you may have noticed, sweet little K has been something of a nightmare lately as well. Her "Diva-tude" has amped it's self up to a new an exciting level, and angry tears flow faster than ever. Please do not bring K any jewelry or dress up clothes- she already spends far to much time reinforcing her own fabulousness. Instead, please send along a nice weighty book filled with terrifying cautionary tales, of what happens when cuteness fades......

For my husband, please write him a heartfelt note informing him that wanting a clean house is not at all neurotic.

As for me, my list is simple. For starters, please crash the Dungeons and Dragons Online server and all other related internet sources. This will force my husband into far more quality time with the rest of us mere mortals.

Also, please pay next months bills, as this year's gift giving spree has left me unable to do so. I'm far to generous for my own good, as I'm sure you know.

Thank you Santa, I'll be sure to leave extra cookies and a glass of Merlot.

Sincerely,

Sarcasta-Mom

Holiday PC

When I received my kid's monthly daycare newsletter last night, I read it through thoroughly, as I always do. Being a mother that works full time induces bouts of guilt that inevitably causes you to cling to each piece of your child's life that you miss out on. I avidly read my daughter's daily reports, my son's weekly classroom updates, and of course, the daycare monthly bulletin.

As I was reading the bulletin, I was happy to learn my children were learning about a variety of holidays during this season of joy, including Christmas, Hacunakah, Kwanza and Eid. Wait a minute. Eid? What the heck is Eid? After a moment of confusion, and then despair at being out of touch with this new holiday, I promptly Googled Eid to find out what it was.

Apparently Eid ul-Fitr is a Muslim holiday which marks the end of Ramadan. This is a joyous event that marks a month long fasting. I suppose if I had to fast for a month I'd throw a huge party when I was allowed to eat too. But, that aside...

Who included Eid on the official holiday list? Why wasn't I informed? Was there a committee, a vote, a deliberation? What's next, Saturnalia?

Now don't get me wrong. I'm in no way saying that Muslims don't deserve to have their holiday included in the vast sea of the American holiday season. But please, I'm still trying to adjust to Kwanza.

In this day and age of PC sensitivities, things just keep getting out of hand. I'm still not sure if I'm allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore. Worried about the wrong holiday greeting, I often blurt out "Ba Hum Bug!" in a state of panicked confusion. At least everyone is equally offended by that.