Sunday, April 27, 2008

Princess of Thieves

This past week has been a veritable crap storm. A few highlights include:

- After having my "Service Engine Soon" light come on, my car broke down and required a lengthy tow and a new starter. After it was repaired, the engine light went back off.

- Yesterday the "Service Engine Soon" light came back on. I'm afraid. Very afraid.

- I didn't get the promotion I applied for at work. Instead, my best friend got it. I've diligently choked back sobs as I tell her I'm happy for her, and listen to her ramble on and on about how great life is going for her.

- GH has still not found a job, and with each day that goes by, I worry more and more that I won't be able to go to graduate school.

With all of that lovely garbage going on, one more incident was enough to send me straight over the edge. As if the universe knew this delicate calculation, ti decided to send me one more thing.

Yesterday, on a rare Saturday off, I took the kids out to lunch, (which I couldn't really afford) and then to the local craft store, which was doing a free craft project for kids. G and K had a great time decorating bookmarks, and picked up a super duty craft epoxy I've been needing with my handy-dandy 50% off coupon.

Since the day was going so well, and it was so beautiful outside, I decided to take the kids to the park. Sitting on a nearby bench, I watched the kids play, squealing with delight, lost in the dusty melee of other screaming, flailing kids. A short while later, the kids discovered their favorite friends were there, and their mom soon joined me on the bench for a rare adult/mommy moment.

After some time, K came over to the bench with her little friend and sat beside me. That's when I noticed something clutched in her hand. It was a gift card from the craft store we had just been at. With a few questions, it was revealed by K that she had taken it from the store. Seething with embarrassed fury, I told her she was in a world of trouble when we got home. She hid under the slides while I gathered up G and headed home.

When we arrived home, I told GH what had happened, and we had a very serious discussion with K about how serious stealing was. We told her how it hurt and embarrassed her family. We told her that it hurt the store and it's employees. We told her that if she was an adult she could go to jail, that stealing was a very serious crime. We talked, she cried, and eventually we sent her to her room for the evening.

Today I took K back to the craft store, stolen gift card in hand. We returned the coloring book I had bought for her yesterday, and asked for the manager. Pulling her aside, I had K explain what she had done, and give the gift card back to manager. I explained that K had to return her coloring book and was grounded for a week and that she understood what she did was very wrong. The manager was very kind and understanding, and we agreed that K would write the store a letter of apology, telling them what she had learned from this experience.

And now I stew, in embarrassment, hurt, and a permeating feeling of crushing failure. This isn't how I raise my children. I know that this happens with most kids at some point, but I guess I didn't think it would be my kids. Does anyone? After all, my kids know how hard we work for every dollar. They've been brought up to respect hard work and the value of everything. Could I somehow have done it wrong?

Since it appears my life has gone completely white-trash this week, looks like I won't be quiting smoking this week either. Maybe I should just grab a Budweiser, turn on WWE and admit defeat....

Only a few hours later now, and GH has discovered two more stolen items in K's room. One, a container of bubble gum from Blockbuster. The other, a tube of lip balm from Wal-Mart. She's 5 for God's sake! What is going on with my child?!?!?!

Tomorrow, we're removing the toys from her room for the week, and she will be spending her time in there after school and after dinner. We're hoping a week with no toys at all will teach her to appreciate what she has. She's also not allowed to come with me to the store for a long while. I'm just not sure what to do.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. Until then, I'll be watching Jerry Springer and preparing for my future.....

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Tuesday on my way to work, I stopped to get gas at the 7-11 as I usually do. They have the cheapest gas in town, but unfortunately only two pumps. Seeing that both pumps were occupied, I pulled into a space in front of the convenience store to wait. Since this was the day I had decided to quit smoking*, I stayed firmly planted in my seat, resisting the urge to go buy a new pack of Camel Lights (*and yes, I smoke. This is a big dark, dirty secret which I have now revealed. In my defence though, I never smoke in the car, or around my children. I only smoke at work where I have the very real potential to go postal)

When I saw the car at the pump closest to me pull away, I sighed heavily in relief. Checking behind me, I began to creep out of the space. I turned my eyes forward for a moment to check my front end, and *BOOM*. BY car jerked to halt, and I began to swear loudly,as I turned behind me to see the rear end of my mommy wagon planted firmly in the side of a small white BMW.

I pulled quickly back into my space, shaking violently and still swearing under my breath. I dug in my purse for a scrap of paper and a pen to exchange insurance information. After asking BMW lady if she was all right, we exchanged our information, both of us flustered and unsure that we had given each other what we needed. There was a swath of white paint on the corner of my bumper, but nothing more. I winced at the dent in her driver's side door, streaked with my car's blue paint.

After our awkward exchange, we both went to the gas pumps, where we stood across from each other pumping gas, trying to avoid each other's gaze. Afterwards? I marched my fanny into the store and bought a pack of cigarettes.

Later that day, my car insurance company called to let me know they had determined I was liable for the damage since I had been pulling into the lane of travel. Even though she had appeared out of nowhere. Even though she was obviously darting in to steal the empty pump. Insurance asshats. I'm still waiting to see what her damage claim is. I'm pretty sure I'll be paying my full $500 deductible. I may have to sell body parts.

Did I mention the lady was driving a BMW? I'm going outside for a cigarette.....

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


I haven't posted lately, and frankly the only excuse I have is that I'm lame. Seriously, the queen of all lameness.

Here are some things I could have blogged about but never found the time for:

- K asked if she could go to a sleepover at a friend's house. I told her, at 5, she's too young to have a sleepover, especially at someone's house who I don't even know. And besides, she didn't even have an invitation. Well, the next day, she brought home an "invitation" that her and her friend had concocted at school. It was hilarious. I meant to take a picture and post it, but it got wet and the ink bled while it was on the counter. Grrrr.

- I received a letter informing me that I had been selected to receive one of the scholarships I had applied for. Now, I only need 9 more in that amount and graduate school will be paid for....

- GH has decided to start a business building computers. He still doesn't have a real job, and school is looming closer.

- I have started walking after dinner with a good friend. We walk around the high school track and let our kids romp around in the grass in the middle. We're up to 2 miles a night. No progress on the waistline yet.

- I'm considering investing in Spanx, a new fancy line of body shapers that are supposed to be comfortable and fabulous all around. I'd like some feedback from anyone who's ever actually worn them before I spend $70 on a pair of underwear. Anyone?

- Most of our snow is finally gone, and I've renewed my vow to plant a veggie garden this year. So far, I've bought seeds and rakes. This year, it's going to happen. I'm just praying my skeezy neighbor won't steal my veggies.

- G continues to do well with the Melatonin. I still love Melatonin.