Sunday, June 29, 2008

Call Backs, Birthdays and Looking Up

Well, Both K and G were called back for a second audition for the infomercial they auditioned for last week. We were all very, very excited.

On Saturday, I brought G to his audition in the morning, as they both had separate call back groups. Unfortunately, G's face broke out in some mystery hives on his summer camp field trip, and they hadn't vanished completely. And, the hives were accompanied by some fabulous dark circles under his eyes due to summer camp exhaustion. Overall though, he seemed to have done well in his audition, at least according to the details I could drag out of him. Parents weren't allowed in the room.

K's audition had only three other kids in her group, and I manged to find a way to spy through the peephole in the door. She participated in a small song and dance number, and seemed to do well, if a little reserved. We'll know by the end of the week if either of them got parts. Keep your fingers crossed!

K went to a birthday party for one of her little school friends, and I was quickly ushered out the door. It's the first of my kid's birthday parties that I haven't stayed through. It made me a little sad. Next week is K's birthday, which has snuck up on me a little quickly. I'm scrambling to get invites out and organize girly activities to keep her and her friends occupied. Wish me luck.

In other home front news, it looks like GH may have a job!!!!!! Working for my company!!!! I can't believe it. It couldn't have come at a better time considering we were on the edge of a nervous breakdown with next months bills staring us in the face. He has an interview on Monday. He could be working by Wednesday. Please send all of your most positive vibes this way.

Oh, and apparently in the past two days, I've become addicted to EntreCard. It's this whole thing where you put a widget on your blog, and other people can drop there names in your box and vice versa. You earn all of these points and get traffic for your blog. I haven't stopped dropping cards since I started. My weekend has been pretty much sucked dry by EntreCard. Check it out. Live the addiction.....

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Feeling The Pinch

Summer Camp For Two Kids- More that I can afford per week

After Care For Summer Camp, Which Some Asshat Without a Job Decided Should End At 4pm- $2 per hour, per child

Swimming Cap Rental For My Daughter Who Has Hair That's Too Long For Indoor Pool Regulations- $1.50 per day until I get the time to buy her one

Bagged Lunch, Which I Love To Pack First Thing In The Morning- $3-$5 per day, per child

Extra Gas To And From Camp- Depends on how much gas has jumped up that week...

Being Late To Work And Sneaking Out Early To Drop Off And Pick Up Kids- Monies I hope my job won't miss

Listening To The Totally Ungrateful Whining Of My Loving Children At The End Of My Day?- Priceless

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Auditions, Summer Camp, and All The Rest

Well boys and girls, summer is officially off to a (soggy) fast start!

This past weekend, I brought both G and K to an audition for a kid centered infomercial. Ages ago I signed them up on this local modeling agency's list, and from time to time they send me kid friendly commercial opportunities. Sometimes I send in the kids photos, or bring them to a casting if we have the day free. I don't push it, and I don't really expect anything out of it. But, since K has rock star/actress aspirations already, I figured I'd support her and encourage her to explore it, even if she is a little young for it. I always make sure to stress that it's all for fun, and not to worry about getting chosen or not.

Well, this audition was definitely the most intense one we've experienced yet. There were tons of kids there, and nervous parents preening them, and running lines. Some clutched head shots, and sprayed down their kid's heads with various product. My kids ran around and took advantage of the dry erase board that dominated the room. The audition its self was short and sweet. K sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and G sang a few verses of "Frosty The Snowman" (Hey, it's what he felt comfortable singing). K was duly impressed by another little girl who sang a Hannah Montana tune. The director seemed suitable impressed with the kids' adorableness, and we were released to enjoy the rest of the day.

Yesterday began the first day of summer camp. I clutched my cell phone nervously all day. wondering if I would get a call, but it remained silent. When I went to pick them up, G was reluctant to leave his game of basketball. K marched towards the door, grumbling that she had a headache, and was tired, and needed to get home immediately. When I got the full rundown, they both agreed that they had a great day, complete with swimming lessons and plenty of sports and outdoor time. However, they both complained that my lovingly packed lunches were lacking. Let's hope I got it right today...

Friday, June 20, 2008

Haiku Friday- Saying Good-Bye

Haiku Friday

Hard to bid farewell
Good-bye to teachers we love
Adieu to school lunch

Hi to summer camp
Welcome to the new camp bill
See-ya to my cash

Hard to bid farewell
Good-bye to the job I love
Back to the office

Hi to disconnect
Bye to the contact, the stress
And bye to the joy

So many transitions taking place this week, it's hard to keep my head from spinning clear off. First and foremost, the kids ended school this week, and will begin day camp on Monday.

I'm horribly nervous- we've never put the kids in this summer program before. Also, it's a new, steep child care bill that we're not used to, and GH is still not working. Good God please save me from daily panic attacks.....

Also beginning Monday, I will be back working my office job, having completed my tour of duty as the fill-in House Manager for one of our residences. I've been in this position for the past three months, and even though at times it's been hell, it's also been incredibly rewarding. I'm really sad to be leaving the house, and to watch all of my hard work be passed on to someone else. Yesterday I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I've ever had, and I worry about how it will feel to leave today. Of course, one client has already called this morning to tell me she hates me, all because I reminded her about her Podiatry appointment. Perhaps there are some things that aren't so hard to say good-bye to after all...

Thursday, June 19, 2008


* Earlier in the day, the kids had watched a Sylvan Learning Center commercial that said kids loose two months worth of their education over summer vacation*

G:Mom, why do you loose so much learning over the summer?

K: I know, I know!

Me: Oh yeah?

K: Yup. It's because in the summer time you go swimming, and when the water gets in your ears, it washes away all of the information in your brain.

Me: Close enough.

Friday, June 13, 2008

This Week......

This week I:

- Took my kids to the local fun fair and spent way too much money. However, it helped our family with some much needed reconnection, which made it worth every penny.

- Used my totally rockin camera for the first time and got some beautiful shoits of the kids. Pictures coming soon.

- Finally made risotto after seeing it every week on "Hell's Kitchen"

- Almost made it through the season finale of "Top Chef" GH was kind enough to wake me when it was over to let me know who won.

- Tried to nurse my sad little veggie garden back to health after a freak hail storm. No Joke. If we get one veggie out of that damn garden I'll be shocked....

- Continued my search for an umbrella style clothesline. Or any self-standing clothesline. You know, anything that isn't a rope tied to two trees.

- Had a great art show and was asked to be a store's official jeweler. Who knows, someday I may be able to make a living at this.

- Worked on my new website all by myself since my sister decided to abandon me for paying jobs. It's slow going, but it will get there.

- Managed to get 3 of my 6 clients to the beach, including one woman who never leaves her apartment. We had an amazing day. Small miracles....

- Did not blog. See above.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Hump Day Hmmm- Comfort Zones

As always, I popped over this week to check out the upcoming Hump Day Hmmm..., which I always vow to do, but somehow keep missing. However, after reading about this week's topic, I MADE myself remember that it was Wednesday and therefore, time to participate.

This week's topic is comfort zones, and is incredibly relevant to my as of late. As an incredibly open minded individual, I've always considered my boundaries wide and my hesitations few and far between. In my life I have been fortunate to know people of all colors, all orientations, and all walks of life. I've dabbled in men of every shade and size. My brother was a homeless drug addict for many years. In college, I helped one of my closest friends struggle with her sexuality and mental illness. I have a son with Aspergers.

For the past year, I've been working for a company that does assisted living for adults with MR (mental retardation). I work in the main office, primarily handling paperwork. One would assume that would keep you on the outs of most client interaction- but not in our company. I've bandaged self-inflicted wounds, given dietary advice, and listed to people talk about horrific abuse that they've endured. I've grown close to people who most would avoid on the street out of pure ignorance.

With all of that in my life and in my past, I didn't think I even had a box anymore. My comfort zone is so huge it's Australia. However, I've discovered that even Australia eventually becomes the ocean.

In mid April, I was asked to fill in at one of our residences while they worked to replace the House Manager who had quit. I was eager to be more hands on, and met the challenge with gusto. This was a residence where I was close to almost all of the clients, and also one of our more "low-key" developments.

And now it's June. I've been there longer than expected, and seen more than I ever expected. I've had to be mother and enforcer. I've been cook and caregiver. I've been the bad guy and the emotional punching bags. There have been days when I've barely held it together long enough to get into my car and start crying.

And just when I think I've reached the edge of my comfort zone, it gets pushed further. These past two weeks however, I've hit my limit.


Last week, one of my clients was prescribed a suppository for an anal fissure (Hey, I warned you didn't I?) and internal hemorrhoids. I knew this would not go over well.

This woman was abused in some of the most horrifying ways possible at the hands of her own family. She was raped by various male family members. She was put on a dog regularly when she was taken outside. All of her teeth were removed when she bit someone as a child.

I knew this medication would be traumatic, but I also knew there was no alternative. Without it, she could develop an infection, which would cause complications with her severe renal disease. Several of my staff told me outright that they weren't comfortable administering the medication. I wasn't either.

And so I pushed. Inside I tried to curl into my box and remain in my comfort zone. On the outside, I've been forced to push a woman who's experienced severe trauma to suffer through further violation. I've been forced to push my staff to do the same thing all in the name of her health.

And what have I gotten for my efforts? A client who now alternately weeps and screams at me. Staff who is uncomfortable every moment. A stack of paperwork that goes straight to the state with each dose of the suppository she refuses.

Life never stops surprising you. Just when you think you've reached your limits, your pushed harder, kicking and screaming. Your eyes are just a bit wider, your heart a bit fuller.


This morning, my client proudly told me that she had allowed someone to help her with her suppository last night, and then she took it again this morning.

A weight is off my chest, and today is a good day. It just goes to show that sometimes persistence pays off. And sometimes, when you push your own boundaries, others will push theirs in return.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Catching Up

Once again, life has gotten away from me. Things like blogging, and, I don't know, sleep, have fallen by the wayside.

The past week has been a blur of crafty madness. I had a big show yesterday, and I took Friday off just to make jewelry. I made jewelry on Saturday while my parents were visiting. I made jewelry in my sleep. I made jewelry instead of eating. I prepped displays and eagerly priced my items. I was consumed.

Yesterday was the show. The venue was packed and my jewelry partner and I were excited and optimistic. As the day wore on, more and more people fondled our jewelry. The compliments and admiration poured in. The sales... were non-existent.

We polled the other crafters and found that it wasn't just us. Apparently after buying food and beer, people weren't keen to purchase lovely handcrafted items. The economy blows, and this was living proof. In the end, I cleared $5 above my booth fee- and the booth fee was pretty cheap.

I had so hoped to make money at this thing. I poured myself into it, thinking this would be a big chance to get ahead. Big. Fat. Crap.

So now I prep for this Friday, and my display at the local art walk. Hopefully it will work out better than yesterday. In the meantime, I won't let myself get consumed my it. I will play with the kids and enjoy my time with them. I will fiddle with my new camera. I will blog about the good moments, and remember money isn't everything. I will cook and eat and do the things I love. I will enjoy my veggie garden, my new rose bushes and stop worrying about what comes next.