Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Resolutions

Happy New Years!

In classic New Years fashion, I've made some major resolutions. Some of them are the same 'ol same 'ol, but some are big, and daunting....

1.) Buy a House- Huge! This is my biggest dream, and I'm determined to make it happen.I'm currently in talks with a mortgage loan officer, and there may be a chance that I could be approved for a mortgage soon. I'm trying not to get my hopes to high. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

2.) Clean Up My Credit- My credit stinks, but not to bad. It's mainly a collection of little boo-boos that need to be taken care of. This year I'm buckling down and getting my credit squeaky clean. This resolution goes hand-in-hand with getting a house. I have some blog related ideas for this one, so stay tuned....

3.) Put Decent Amount Into Savings- I'm tired of being SOL when minor emergencies erupt, like car repairs. This year, I WILL put money into the savings account, and refuse to touch it.

4.) Kick My Jewelry Making Into High Gear- This past year I've made some minor progress in getting my jewelry making business off the ground. 2009 will be a year to really focus on promoting, developing, and kicking ass with my jewelry, so maybe someday it can be more than a hobby and bring in some actual monies.

5.) Loose Weight- Yup, this one again. IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. If it doesn't, I'm looking at a new wardrobe in the wrong direction. I can't go there....

6.) Be A Better Mom- I really have to work on this- on not letting the little things get to me, on enjoying my kids more, on taking the time to relax and just have fun with the family. I start counseling next week, and hopefully this will help me get to the happier place I need to be.

7.) Get Another Dog- Oh yeah, I went there. I informed GH that if we got our house, I'll be getting another dog. Yes, I'm that mental......

In order to make all of these huge goals become reality, I'm going to try to track them on my blog. I have a few ideas on creating some widgets that will help. Hopefully it will keep me on track.

Here's to a brighter and better 2009!!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

It's Over!

That's right, it's over, it's finally over! Suck it Christmas!!!!!

All right, now that that's out of the way, I have to say, overall, the holidays weren't so bad. There were no major family blowups. The kids seemed happy with their gifts. Even though we're broke, we will still be able to pay the rent this week. Therefore, I consider the holidays a success. I'm still reeling a bit from all of the driving I had to do, but it's a small price to pay for a Christmas without having to disown any family members.

Another upshot of the holidays is that my parents agreed to keep the kids in Vermont for this week. It's the best Christmas gift of all. Yesterday GH and I lounged in bed late, and I even got breakfast in bed. In the afternoon we perused high end pet stores and played with puppies and looked at extravagant doggie furniture. Last night we ate a steak dinner in the living room in front of an R-rated movie. Insanity! Tonight after work I'll go home to a quiet house while GH is at work. I may take a nap or go see a movie with a friend. It's pure heaven.

So the next few evenings will be spent in pure adult bliss. Which basically equals more sleep. Pardon me while I drool over the thought of long nap......

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

All I Want For Christmas....

Dear Santa,

Since your magic and all, and always watching us and so on, I'm sure you've heard a lot of grumbling and definitely some non-Christmassy style swearing ringing through our house this holiday season. For that, I admit I have been naughty, but on the whole, I think I've been awfully good. I have not shipped either of my children, or my husband, to Aubu Dabi despite their repeated provocation. I have not robbed a bank, as was seriously considered to bankroll this year's Christmas gifts. In short, I've been a saint.

So this year, I'm totally making a request. And yes, unlike many of my fellow, selfless bloggers, my request is something totally material and selfish. Here goes Santa- I want an approval on my mortgage application.

Now, I know you have pull Santa. I'm sure with a few words from you, my friendly mortgage guy would call me right back with the happy news that we've been approved for a loan and can begin house shopping. I just know it.

This is my dearest dream Santa. Being able to give my family a home of our own for Christmas would be the greatest gift I could ever receive. So please Santa, give Key Bank a call and put in a good word for me. It won't take long, and the elves won't have to build a thing.

Thank you,

Little 'ol me

Monday, December 22, 2008

It's The Little Things

This morning, I woke up to having to shovel over a foot of snow out of my driveway. At the end part, where the plow comes, I finally had to call my husband out to finish I was beat!

After all of that, my office called to say we wouldn't be opening until noon. I gratefully crawled my aching behind back to bed to warm up a bit and give my back a chance to relax.

Soon I realized the sun was shining, and the roads were probably clear. Even though noon was a a while off, I could feel the pile of work on my desk calling me. I reluctantly grumbled that I should get to work.

And GH? He made me a breakfast sandwich. If I had laid in bed a few more minutes, it would have been breakfast in bed. I was so touched it was a little ridiculous.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Another Try

All right, here I go, trying to look on the bright side. Ready? O.k. *deep breath*

* I have managed to make back most of the blown tire money through my jewelry sales. Looks like there might be stocking stuffers after all.

* I think we've finally gotten the holiday visiting schedule nailed down.

* I do have two new winter tires, which will be great considering the two crazy snow storms they're predicting for this week.

* The kids, the dogs, and the cats are all healthy.

* When I got sick last night after getting home from work, K told me "It's all right Mama, you don't have to make us dinner if you don't feel good. We can just make sandwiches." Such a sweetie.

* I made myself an appointment with a therapist for myself. There, I said it. In my out load voice. To everyone. I need help. I'm only human.

*Soon the holidays will be over. And that's the happiest thought of all.....

Monday, December 15, 2008

I Give Up- Let The Negativity Flow!

I haven't been posting much lately. It's not for lack of material, it's just that I've found that every post I've started lately is chock-full of anger and frustration. And so I waited. I waited for something positive to happen, for a moment that would fill me with Christmas-y goodness. And that moment? Has totally failed to materialize.

This Christmas season has just not been one filled with joy so far. The family badness surrounding Thanksgiving have pretty much killed my Christmas spirit. After all, what's more soul crushing than trying to negotiate your family holiday visits based on which family members might be there?

We did put up the tree, which is lovely. Decorating the tree is always fun. I love unwrapping all of the handmade ornaments that the kids have made over the years, especially the ones that contain photos of them. I've been trying hard to hold on to that feeling.

This past weekend I did a craft fair to try to earn extra Christmas money. Not only did I make no money, but I ended up blowing a tire. Yesterday I used the rest of my carefully horded stocking stuffer money to buy not one, but two new tires for my car. I teared up, but forced myself not to cry in front of the mechanics, and most importantly, my kids.

And so yes, here's another whining, frustration filled post. I tried not too, I swear.

However, all of the badness and the financial stresses have really made me rethink Christmas. This year, I'm going to try to focus on the cookie making and the Christmas carols, and make "stuff" the least important part of this holiday. Because honestly? We have a lot. Sometimes I just have to remember that.....

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Still Freakin

And so the pre-holiday insanity continues.....

While dining with GH's family this past weekend, my mother-in-law's husband had a major meltdown. Now, I've known for a long time that this man was unstable, but only recently has everyone else been able to see it. The last time we had dinner with him, he crossed the line with my son. This time, he unleashed on my 6-year-old daughter. I won't go into details, but it ended with us fleeing the house, myself and my children in tears, while pleading with GH not to pound the man in question into a pile of pulp. GH and I have now agreed that we won't go over there again, nor will this man ever be allowed in our home.

Now that we've officially had family badness on both sides, GH and I have decided that Christmas eve and Christmas day will be spent at home, with the kids. I'm nervous to break this new to my mother, but it's really what's best for our family.

Meanwhile, I've been fighting the crowds at the Mall, Toys 'R Us, and so forth to try to finish my Christmas shopping. So far both kids have piles of new clothes, and a few nice toys each. It's eating away at me that I didn't get many toy gifts for them this year, but I'm trying to deal. This year we just have to be more practical, and frankly, the kids need to learn to appreciate the things they do get.

Tonight I'll go out and get our tree. I feel like we're the last family on earth to put a tree, and I'm pretty embarrassed. But, what can you do? Tonight we'll decorate,and hopefully have a wonderful time trying to capture that oh so elusive Christmas spirit.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Surviving The Holidays

Well, I made it through Thanksgiving with my family. Barely. GH had to stay home to work and I braved the trip to VT with the kids and Loki by myself.

While it was great seeing all of my siblings together (we're terribly scattered throughout the country) there was also a lot of stress. Between my older brother having a huge fight with my mother, and then my mother having a huge fight with my father, there was my father's 50th birthday party crammed in there. I don't know if there are words to describe the drunken mayhem that was that event.

On the plus side, I did make my dad one of my best cakes ever for his birthday. It was a caricature of him sitting on top of the local ski mountain. The image was based on a painting my older brother did years ago, pictured here next to the cake:

I'm damn proud of it.

I made it home late yesterday afternoon, and then had to head out in a hail storm to get groceries for our empty cupboards. Good times.

And now comes Christmas. Right now we're debating where exactly we're going to be on those days, whether with GH's family, mine, or both. Gah. And don't even get me started on the gifts I still have to get for the kids. I can't wait until Christmas is over. Bah Humbug.