Well, Both K and G were called back for a second audition for the infomercial they auditioned for last week. We were all very, very excited.
On Saturday, I brought G to his audition in the morning, as they both had separate call back groups. Unfortunately, G's face broke out in some mystery hives on his summer camp field trip, and they hadn't vanished completely. And, the hives were accompanied by some fabulous dark circles under his eyes due to summer camp exhaustion. Overall though, he seemed to have done well in his audition, at least according to the details I could drag out of him. Parents weren't allowed in the room.
K's audition had only three other kids in her group, and I manged to find a way to spy through the peephole in the door. She participated in a small song and dance number, and seemed to do well, if a little reserved. We'll know by the end of the week if either of them got parts. Keep your fingers crossed!
K went to a birthday party for one of her little school friends, and I was quickly ushered out the door. It's the first of my kid's birthday parties that I haven't stayed through. It made me a little sad. Next week is K's birthday, which has snuck up on me a little quickly. I'm scrambling to get invites out and organize girly activities to keep her and her friends occupied. Wish me luck.
In other home front news, it looks like GH may have a job!!!!!! Working for my company!!!! I can't believe it. It couldn't have come at a better time considering we were on the edge of a nervous breakdown with next months bills staring us in the face. He has an interview on Monday. He could be working by Wednesday. Please send all of your most positive vibes this way.
Oh, and apparently in the past two days, I've become addicted to EntreCard. It's this whole thing where you put a widget on your blog, and other people can drop there names in your box and vice versa. You earn all of these points and get traffic for your blog. I haven't stopped dropping cards since I started. My weekend has been pretty much sucked dry by EntreCard. Check it out. Live the addiction.....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Feeling The Pinch
Summer Camp For Two Kids- More that I can afford per week
After Care For Summer Camp, Which Some Asshat Without a Job Decided Should End At 4pm- $2 per hour, per child
Swimming Cap Rental For My Daughter Who Has Hair That's Too Long For Indoor Pool Regulations- $1.50 per day until I get the time to buy her one
Bagged Lunch, Which I Love To Pack First Thing In The Morning- $3-$5 per day, per child
Extra Gas To And From Camp- Depends on how much gas has jumped up that week...
Being Late To Work And Sneaking Out Early To Drop Off And Pick Up Kids- Monies I hope my job won't miss
Listening To The Totally Ungrateful Whining Of My Loving Children At The End Of My Day?- Priceless
After Care For Summer Camp, Which Some Asshat Without a Job Decided Should End At 4pm- $2 per hour, per child
Swimming Cap Rental For My Daughter Who Has Hair That's Too Long For Indoor Pool Regulations- $1.50 per day until I get the time to buy her one
Bagged Lunch, Which I Love To Pack First Thing In The Morning- $3-$5 per day, per child
Extra Gas To And From Camp- Depends on how much gas has jumped up that week...
Being Late To Work And Sneaking Out Early To Drop Off And Pick Up Kids- Monies I hope my job won't miss
Listening To The Totally Ungrateful Whining Of My Loving Children At The End Of My Day?- Priceless
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Auditions, Summer Camp, and All The Rest
Well boys and girls, summer is officially off to a (soggy) fast start!
This past weekend, I brought both G and K to an audition for a kid centered infomercial. Ages ago I signed them up on this local modeling agency's list, and from time to time they send me kid friendly commercial opportunities. Sometimes I send in the kids photos, or bring them to a casting if we have the day free. I don't push it, and I don't really expect anything out of it. But, since K has rock star/actress aspirations already, I figured I'd support her and encourage her to explore it, even if she is a little young for it. I always make sure to stress that it's all for fun, and not to worry about getting chosen or not.
Well, this audition was definitely the most intense one we've experienced yet. There were tons of kids there, and nervous parents preening them, and running lines. Some clutched head shots, and sprayed down their kid's heads with various product. My kids ran around and took advantage of the dry erase board that dominated the room. The audition its self was short and sweet. K sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and G sang a few verses of "Frosty The Snowman" (Hey, it's what he felt comfortable singing). K was duly impressed by another little girl who sang a Hannah Montana tune. The director seemed suitable impressed with the kids' adorableness, and we were released to enjoy the rest of the day.
Yesterday began the first day of summer camp. I clutched my cell phone nervously all day. wondering if I would get a call, but it remained silent. When I went to pick them up, G was reluctant to leave his game of basketball. K marched towards the door, grumbling that she had a headache, and was tired, and needed to get home immediately. When I got the full rundown, they both agreed that they had a great day, complete with swimming lessons and plenty of sports and outdoor time. However, they both complained that my lovingly packed lunches were lacking. Let's hope I got it right today...
This past weekend, I brought both G and K to an audition for a kid centered infomercial. Ages ago I signed them up on this local modeling agency's list, and from time to time they send me kid friendly commercial opportunities. Sometimes I send in the kids photos, or bring them to a casting if we have the day free. I don't push it, and I don't really expect anything out of it. But, since K has rock star/actress aspirations already, I figured I'd support her and encourage her to explore it, even if she is a little young for it. I always make sure to stress that it's all for fun, and not to worry about getting chosen or not.
Well, this audition was definitely the most intense one we've experienced yet. There were tons of kids there, and nervous parents preening them, and running lines. Some clutched head shots, and sprayed down their kid's heads with various product. My kids ran around and took advantage of the dry erase board that dominated the room. The audition its self was short and sweet. K sang "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and G sang a few verses of "Frosty The Snowman" (Hey, it's what he felt comfortable singing). K was duly impressed by another little girl who sang a Hannah Montana tune. The director seemed suitable impressed with the kids' adorableness, and we were released to enjoy the rest of the day.
Yesterday began the first day of summer camp. I clutched my cell phone nervously all day. wondering if I would get a call, but it remained silent. When I went to pick them up, G was reluctant to leave his game of basketball. K marched towards the door, grumbling that she had a headache, and was tired, and needed to get home immediately. When I got the full rundown, they both agreed that they had a great day, complete with swimming lessons and plenty of sports and outdoor time. However, they both complained that my lovingly packed lunches were lacking. Let's hope I got it right today...
Friday, June 20, 2008
Haiku Friday- Saying Good-Bye
Hard to bid farewell
Good-bye to teachers we love
Adieu to school lunch
Hi to summer camp
Welcome to the new camp bill
See-ya to my cash
Hard to bid farewell
Good-bye to the job I love
Back to the office
Hi to disconnect
Bye to the contact, the stress
And bye to the joy
So many transitions taking place this week, it's hard to keep my head from spinning clear off. First and foremost, the kids ended school this week, and will begin day camp on Monday.
I'm horribly nervous- we've never put the kids in this summer program before. Also, it's a new, steep child care bill that we're not used to, and GH is still not working. Good God please save me from daily panic attacks.....
Also beginning Monday, I will be back working my office job, having completed my tour of duty as the fill-in House Manager for one of our residences. I've been in this position for the past three months, and even though at times it's been hell, it's also been incredibly rewarding. I'm really sad to be leaving the house, and to watch all of my hard work be passed on to someone else. Yesterday I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I've ever had, and I worry about how it will feel to leave today. Of course, one client has already called this morning to tell me she hates me, all because I reminded her about her Podiatry appointment. Perhaps there are some things that aren't so hard to say good-bye to after all...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Snippet
* Earlier in the day, the kids had watched a Sylvan Learning Center commercial that said kids loose two months worth of their education over summer vacation*
G:Mom, why do you loose so much learning over the summer?
K: I know, I know!
Me: Oh yeah?
K: Yup. It's because in the summer time you go swimming, and when the water gets in your ears, it washes away all of the information in your brain.
Me: Close enough.
G:Mom, why do you loose so much learning over the summer?
K: I know, I know!
Me: Oh yeah?
K: Yup. It's because in the summer time you go swimming, and when the water gets in your ears, it washes away all of the information in your brain.
Me: Close enough.
Friday, June 13, 2008
This Week......
This week I:
- Took my kids to the local fun fair and spent way too much money. However, it helped our family with some much needed reconnection, which made it worth every penny.
- Used my totally rockin camera for the first time and got some beautiful shoits of the kids. Pictures coming soon.
- Finally made risotto after seeing it every week on "Hell's Kitchen"
- Almost made it through the season finale of "Top Chef" GH was kind enough to wake me when it was over to let me know who won.
- Tried to nurse my sad little veggie garden back to health after a freak hail storm. No Joke. If we get one veggie out of that damn garden I'll be shocked....
- Continued my search for an umbrella style clothesline. Or any self-standing clothesline. You know, anything that isn't a rope tied to two trees.
- Had a great art show and was asked to be a store's official jeweler. Who knows, someday I may be able to make a living at this.
- Worked on my new website all by myself since my sister decided to abandon me for paying jobs. It's slow going, but it will get there.
- Managed to get 3 of my 6 clients to the beach, including one woman who never leaves her apartment. We had an amazing day. Small miracles....
- Did not blog. See above.
- Took my kids to the local fun fair and spent way too much money. However, it helped our family with some much needed reconnection, which made it worth every penny.
- Used my totally rockin camera for the first time and got some beautiful shoits of the kids. Pictures coming soon.
- Finally made risotto after seeing it every week on "Hell's Kitchen"
- Almost made it through the season finale of "Top Chef" GH was kind enough to wake me when it was over to let me know who won.
- Tried to nurse my sad little veggie garden back to health after a freak hail storm. No Joke. If we get one veggie out of that damn garden I'll be shocked....
- Continued my search for an umbrella style clothesline. Or any self-standing clothesline. You know, anything that isn't a rope tied to two trees.
- Had a great art show and was asked to be a store's official jeweler. Who knows, someday I may be able to make a living at this.
- Worked on my new website all by myself since my sister decided to abandon me for paying jobs. It's slow going, but it will get there.
- Managed to get 3 of my 6 clients to the beach, including one woman who never leaves her apartment. We had an amazing day. Small miracles....
- Did not blog. See above.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Hump Day Hmmm- Comfort Zones
As always, I popped over this week to check out the upcoming Hump Day Hmmm..., which I always vow to do, but somehow keep missing. However, after reading about this week's topic, I MADE myself remember that it was Wednesday and therefore, time to participate.
This week's topic is comfort zones, and is incredibly relevant to my as of late. As an incredibly open minded individual, I've always considered my boundaries wide and my hesitations few and far between. In my life I have been fortunate to know people of all colors, all orientations, and all walks of life. I've dabbled in men of every shade and size. My brother was a homeless drug addict for many years. In college, I helped one of my closest friends struggle with her sexuality and mental illness. I have a son with Aspergers.
For the past year, I've been working for a company that does assisted living for adults with MR (mental retardation). I work in the main office, primarily handling paperwork. One would assume that would keep you on the outs of most client interaction- but not in our company. I've bandaged self-inflicted wounds, given dietary advice, and listed to people talk about horrific abuse that they've endured. I've grown close to people who most would avoid on the street out of pure ignorance.
With all of that in my life and in my past, I didn't think I even had a box anymore. My comfort zone is so huge it's Australia. However, I've discovered that even Australia eventually becomes the ocean.
In mid April, I was asked to fill in at one of our residences while they worked to replace the House Manager who had quit. I was eager to be more hands on, and met the challenge with gusto. This was a residence where I was close to almost all of the clients, and also one of our more "low-key" developments.
And now it's June. I've been there longer than expected, and seen more than I ever expected. I've had to be mother and enforcer. I've been cook and caregiver. I've been the bad guy and the emotional punching bags. There have been days when I've barely held it together long enough to get into my car and start crying.
And just when I think I've reached the edge of my comfort zone, it gets pushed further. These past two weeks however, I've hit my limit.
*** WARNING - IT MAY TAKE YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE TO CONTINUE READING ***
Last week, one of my clients was prescribed a suppository for an anal fissure (Hey, I warned you didn't I?) and internal hemorrhoids. I knew this would not go over well.
This woman was abused in some of the most horrifying ways possible at the hands of her own family. She was raped by various male family members. She was put on a dog regularly when she was taken outside. All of her teeth were removed when she bit someone as a child.
I knew this medication would be traumatic, but I also knew there was no alternative. Without it, she could develop an infection, which would cause complications with her severe renal disease. Several of my staff told me outright that they weren't comfortable administering the medication. I wasn't either.
And so I pushed. Inside I tried to curl into my box and remain in my comfort zone. On the outside, I've been forced to push a woman who's experienced severe trauma to suffer through further violation. I've been forced to push my staff to do the same thing all in the name of her health.
And what have I gotten for my efforts? A client who now alternately weeps and screams at me. Staff who is uncomfortable every moment. A stack of paperwork that goes straight to the state with each dose of the suppository she refuses.
Life never stops surprising you. Just when you think you've reached your limits, your pushed harder, kicking and screaming. Your eyes are just a bit wider, your heart a bit fuller.
** UPDATE**
This morning, my client proudly told me that she had allowed someone to help her with her suppository last night, and then she took it again this morning.
A weight is off my chest, and today is a good day. It just goes to show that sometimes persistence pays off. And sometimes, when you push your own boundaries, others will push theirs in return.
This week's topic is comfort zones, and is incredibly relevant to my as of late. As an incredibly open minded individual, I've always considered my boundaries wide and my hesitations few and far between. In my life I have been fortunate to know people of all colors, all orientations, and all walks of life. I've dabbled in men of every shade and size. My brother was a homeless drug addict for many years. In college, I helped one of my closest friends struggle with her sexuality and mental illness. I have a son with Aspergers.
For the past year, I've been working for a company that does assisted living for adults with MR (mental retardation). I work in the main office, primarily handling paperwork. One would assume that would keep you on the outs of most client interaction- but not in our company. I've bandaged self-inflicted wounds, given dietary advice, and listed to people talk about horrific abuse that they've endured. I've grown close to people who most would avoid on the street out of pure ignorance.
With all of that in my life and in my past, I didn't think I even had a box anymore. My comfort zone is so huge it's Australia. However, I've discovered that even Australia eventually becomes the ocean.
In mid April, I was asked to fill in at one of our residences while they worked to replace the House Manager who had quit. I was eager to be more hands on, and met the challenge with gusto. This was a residence where I was close to almost all of the clients, and also one of our more "low-key" developments.
And now it's June. I've been there longer than expected, and seen more than I ever expected. I've had to be mother and enforcer. I've been cook and caregiver. I've been the bad guy and the emotional punching bags. There have been days when I've barely held it together long enough to get into my car and start crying.
And just when I think I've reached the edge of my comfort zone, it gets pushed further. These past two weeks however, I've hit my limit.
*** WARNING - IT MAY TAKE YOU OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE TO CONTINUE READING ***
Last week, one of my clients was prescribed a suppository for an anal fissure (Hey, I warned you didn't I?) and internal hemorrhoids. I knew this would not go over well.
This woman was abused in some of the most horrifying ways possible at the hands of her own family. She was raped by various male family members. She was put on a dog regularly when she was taken outside. All of her teeth were removed when she bit someone as a child.
I knew this medication would be traumatic, but I also knew there was no alternative. Without it, she could develop an infection, which would cause complications with her severe renal disease. Several of my staff told me outright that they weren't comfortable administering the medication. I wasn't either.
And so I pushed. Inside I tried to curl into my box and remain in my comfort zone. On the outside, I've been forced to push a woman who's experienced severe trauma to suffer through further violation. I've been forced to push my staff to do the same thing all in the name of her health.
And what have I gotten for my efforts? A client who now alternately weeps and screams at me. Staff who is uncomfortable every moment. A stack of paperwork that goes straight to the state with each dose of the suppository she refuses.
Life never stops surprising you. Just when you think you've reached your limits, your pushed harder, kicking and screaming. Your eyes are just a bit wider, your heart a bit fuller.
** UPDATE**
This morning, my client proudly told me that she had allowed someone to help her with her suppository last night, and then she took it again this morning.
A weight is off my chest, and today is a good day. It just goes to show that sometimes persistence pays off. And sometimes, when you push your own boundaries, others will push theirs in return.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Catching Up
Once again, life has gotten away from me. Things like blogging, and, I don't know, sleep, have fallen by the wayside.
The past week has been a blur of crafty madness. I had a big show yesterday, and I took Friday off just to make jewelry. I made jewelry on Saturday while my parents were visiting. I made jewelry in my sleep. I made jewelry instead of eating. I prepped displays and eagerly priced my items. I was consumed.
Yesterday was the show. The venue was packed and my jewelry partner and I were excited and optimistic. As the day wore on, more and more people fondled our jewelry. The compliments and admiration poured in. The sales... were non-existent.
We polled the other crafters and found that it wasn't just us. Apparently after buying food and beer, people weren't keen to purchase lovely handcrafted items. The economy blows, and this was living proof. In the end, I cleared $5 above my booth fee- and the booth fee was pretty cheap.
I had so hoped to make money at this thing. I poured myself into it, thinking this would be a big chance to get ahead. Big. Fat. Crap.
So now I prep for this Friday, and my display at the local art walk. Hopefully it will work out better than yesterday. In the meantime, I won't let myself get consumed my it. I will play with the kids and enjoy my time with them. I will fiddle with my new camera. I will blog about the good moments, and remember money isn't everything. I will cook and eat and do the things I love. I will enjoy my veggie garden, my new rose bushes and stop worrying about what comes next.
The past week has been a blur of crafty madness. I had a big show yesterday, and I took Friday off just to make jewelry. I made jewelry on Saturday while my parents were visiting. I made jewelry in my sleep. I made jewelry instead of eating. I prepped displays and eagerly priced my items. I was consumed.
Yesterday was the show. The venue was packed and my jewelry partner and I were excited and optimistic. As the day wore on, more and more people fondled our jewelry. The compliments and admiration poured in. The sales... were non-existent.
We polled the other crafters and found that it wasn't just us. Apparently after buying food and beer, people weren't keen to purchase lovely handcrafted items. The economy blows, and this was living proof. In the end, I cleared $5 above my booth fee- and the booth fee was pretty cheap.
I had so hoped to make money at this thing. I poured myself into it, thinking this would be a big chance to get ahead. Big. Fat. Crap.
So now I prep for this Friday, and my display at the local art walk. Hopefully it will work out better than yesterday. In the meantime, I won't let myself get consumed my it. I will play with the kids and enjoy my time with them. I will fiddle with my new camera. I will blog about the good moments, and remember money isn't everything. I will cook and eat and do the things I love. I will enjoy my veggie garden, my new rose bushes and stop worrying about what comes next.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Gift To Myself- Haiku Friday
I have dreamed of it
Far to long a fantasy
Photo envy pain
Now surprise money
Some extra in my account
It will now be mine
Oh Canon Rebel
Soon we will be together
Making great photos
For years now I have dreamed of owning an SLR camera. I have drooled, I have dreamed and I have longed. Now, thanks to a small, unexpected windfall, my dream camera will be mine. A Canon Rebel XTi is on it's way to me as we speak.
After sacrificing college, and suffering financially for months, I don't feel guilty about spending the money on myself. It's my birthday present to myself, the mom who's gone without birthday gifts for years.
Of course when it gets here, I'll probably be overwhelmed. I'll feel the guilt over buying something so huge for myself. I'll be suffocated by the anxiety of spending so much money. But for now, I'm going to enjoy imagining all of the wonderful pictures I'm going to take......
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Happy Birthday To Me
Today is my birthday. Funny just how little that seems to mean the older you get. This morning, neither my husband or my kids remembered to say Happy Birthday. The morning was salvaged by breakfast out with a co-worker, and a client of ours who had a birthday today as well. I tried not to be to depressed about the fact that that breakfast at Denny's would probably be the highlight of my birthday.
Today I wrote to the college I was accepted to and told them that I had to withdraw my acceptance into their graduate program. GH still does not have a stable job, and I just can't afford to go back to school this year. I'm doing my best to choke down my sorrow and disappointment. I keep reminding myself that sacrifice is part of being an adult and a parent. Some things just have to come first.
On the plus side some things, big things, look to be happening with my jewelry making. I have my first big show of the season in two weeks, and it has the potential to be a big money maker. Also, through a series of random events, I've stumbled into a very promising relationship with a local rock and gem shop. I've agreed to produce a line of new-age, healing stone jewelry for the shop, and I'm taking custom jewelry jobs from random customers. If all things there come to full fruition, it may mean steady work designing jewelry. I like to think that maybe the universe is making up for me having to give up college- or perhaps even pushing me in another direction.
So Happy Birthday to me. Another year survived and under my belt. Another year to look ahead and to hope for more, whatever that may be.
Today I wrote to the college I was accepted to and told them that I had to withdraw my acceptance into their graduate program. GH still does not have a stable job, and I just can't afford to go back to school this year. I'm doing my best to choke down my sorrow and disappointment. I keep reminding myself that sacrifice is part of being an adult and a parent. Some things just have to come first.
On the plus side some things, big things, look to be happening with my jewelry making. I have my first big show of the season in two weeks, and it has the potential to be a big money maker. Also, through a series of random events, I've stumbled into a very promising relationship with a local rock and gem shop. I've agreed to produce a line of new-age, healing stone jewelry for the shop, and I'm taking custom jewelry jobs from random customers. If all things there come to full fruition, it may mean steady work designing jewelry. I like to think that maybe the universe is making up for me having to give up college- or perhaps even pushing me in another direction.
So Happy Birthday to me. Another year survived and under my belt. Another year to look ahead and to hope for more, whatever that may be.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I Married The King Of The Dorks
Me: Honey, you need to get up
GH: *mumbling from under the covers*
Me: Seriously, you need to get your ass out of bed!
GH: I'm gathering energy from the earth. I'll be up in a minute.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Me: Sweetie, can you please come help me with dinner?
GH: There is no dinner. There is only Zorg.
Me: Fine, then can you please come help me make some Zorg?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
GH: (Wraping up some really long boring story about some argument he was having in his online Lord Of The Rings game) ... and so then I just said "You Win!" because that's the only way to really win an argument. It makes the other person look like a total jerk.
Me: Hmmmmm (thoughtfully) Did you consider just saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
GH: You obviously didn't get the point. That would have been totally immature.
Me: How about "I am rubber you are glue."?
GH: No, that's still immature. You just don't get it.
Me: Honey, have you ever stopped to consider that you're a grown man playing an online fantasy game? I think you may have missed my point.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I love him to death, but did you catch that he plays Lord Of The Rings Online? Can I just point that out again for the record? Just call me Mrs. Dork.
GH: *mumbling from under the covers*
Me: Seriously, you need to get your ass out of bed!
GH: I'm gathering energy from the earth. I'll be up in a minute.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Me: Sweetie, can you please come help me with dinner?
GH: There is no dinner. There is only Zorg.
Me: Fine, then can you please come help me make some Zorg?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
GH: (Wraping up some really long boring story about some argument he was having in his online Lord Of The Rings game) ... and so then I just said "You Win!" because that's the only way to really win an argument. It makes the other person look like a total jerk.
Me: Hmmmmm (thoughtfully) Did you consider just saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
GH: You obviously didn't get the point. That would have been totally immature.
Me: How about "I am rubber you are glue."?
GH: No, that's still immature. You just don't get it.
Me: Honey, have you ever stopped to consider that you're a grown man playing an online fantasy game? I think you may have missed my point.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I love him to death, but did you catch that he plays Lord Of The Rings Online? Can I just point that out again for the record? Just call me Mrs. Dork.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Seriously, Is It Me?
On Friday, I had one of my client's steal a $200 check out of my office. I work with adults with MR, and have learned infinite patience and understanding, but this, well, this just pushed me over the edge. Granted, it was a client with a history of theft and deception, but it also happened to be a client I had just spent two days worth of serious quality time with. Naive as it may sound, I just didn't think she'd pull something like that with me.
When I confronted her, my eyes swam with tears of hurt and anger. I managed to be calm and professional, but part of me? Well, part of me wanted to throttle her and scream "What the hell were you thinking!?!?!" Once again, I was left feeling betrayed, furious, and like a complete sucker.
So seriously, is it me? Do I give off some kind of pheromone that prompts thievery? Tomorrow, I'm dousing myself in some kind of aura cleansing hippy oil.
When I confronted her, my eyes swam with tears of hurt and anger. I managed to be calm and professional, but part of me? Well, part of me wanted to throttle her and scream "What the hell were you thinking!?!?!" Once again, I was left feeling betrayed, furious, and like a complete sucker.
So seriously, is it me? Do I give off some kind of pheromone that prompts thievery? Tomorrow, I'm dousing myself in some kind of aura cleansing hippy oil.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Princess of Thieves
This past week has been a veritable crap storm. A few highlights include:
- After having my "Service Engine Soon" light come on, my car broke down and required a lengthy tow and a new starter. After it was repaired, the engine light went back off.
- Yesterday the "Service Engine Soon" light came back on. I'm afraid. Very afraid.
- I didn't get the promotion I applied for at work. Instead, my best friend got it. I've diligently choked back sobs as I tell her I'm happy for her, and listen to her ramble on and on about how great life is going for her.
- GH has still not found a job, and with each day that goes by, I worry more and more that I won't be able to go to graduate school.
With all of that lovely garbage going on, one more incident was enough to send me straight over the edge. As if the universe knew this delicate calculation, ti decided to send me one more thing.
Yesterday, on a rare Saturday off, I took the kids out to lunch, (which I couldn't really afford) and then to the local craft store, which was doing a free craft project for kids. G and K had a great time decorating bookmarks, and picked up a super duty craft epoxy I've been needing with my handy-dandy 50% off coupon.
Since the day was going so well, and it was so beautiful outside, I decided to take the kids to the park. Sitting on a nearby bench, I watched the kids play, squealing with delight, lost in the dusty melee of other screaming, flailing kids. A short while later, the kids discovered their favorite friends were there, and their mom soon joined me on the bench for a rare adult/mommy moment.
After some time, K came over to the bench with her little friend and sat beside me. That's when I noticed something clutched in her hand. It was a gift card from the craft store we had just been at. With a few questions, it was revealed by K that she had taken it from the store. Seething with embarrassed fury, I told her she was in a world of trouble when we got home. She hid under the slides while I gathered up G and headed home.
When we arrived home, I told GH what had happened, and we had a very serious discussion with K about how serious stealing was. We told her how it hurt and embarrassed her family. We told her that it hurt the store and it's employees. We told her that if she was an adult she could go to jail, that stealing was a very serious crime. We talked, she cried, and eventually we sent her to her room for the evening.
Today I took K back to the craft store, stolen gift card in hand. We returned the coloring book I had bought for her yesterday, and asked for the manager. Pulling her aside, I had K explain what she had done, and give the gift card back to manager. I explained that K had to return her coloring book and was grounded for a week and that she understood what she did was very wrong. The manager was very kind and understanding, and we agreed that K would write the store a letter of apology, telling them what she had learned from this experience.
And now I stew, in embarrassment, hurt, and a permeating feeling of crushing failure. This isn't how I raise my children. I know that this happens with most kids at some point, but I guess I didn't think it would be my kids. Does anyone? After all, my kids know how hard we work for every dollar. They've been brought up to respect hard work and the value of everything. Could I somehow have done it wrong?
Since it appears my life has gone completely white-trash this week, looks like I won't be quiting smoking this week either. Maybe I should just grab a Budweiser, turn on WWE and admit defeat....
*UPDATE*
Only a few hours later now, and GH has discovered two more stolen items in K's room. One, a container of bubble gum from Blockbuster. The other, a tube of lip balm from Wal-Mart. She's 5 for God's sake! What is going on with my child?!?!?!
Tomorrow, we're removing the toys from her room for the week, and she will be spending her time in there after school and after dinner. We're hoping a week with no toys at all will teach her to appreciate what she has. She's also not allowed to come with me to the store for a long while. I'm just not sure what to do.
If anyone has any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. Until then, I'll be watching Jerry Springer and preparing for my future.....
- After having my "Service Engine Soon" light come on, my car broke down and required a lengthy tow and a new starter. After it was repaired, the engine light went back off.
- Yesterday the "Service Engine Soon" light came back on. I'm afraid. Very afraid.
- I didn't get the promotion I applied for at work. Instead, my best friend got it. I've diligently choked back sobs as I tell her I'm happy for her, and listen to her ramble on and on about how great life is going for her.
- GH has still not found a job, and with each day that goes by, I worry more and more that I won't be able to go to graduate school.
With all of that lovely garbage going on, one more incident was enough to send me straight over the edge. As if the universe knew this delicate calculation, ti decided to send me one more thing.
Yesterday, on a rare Saturday off, I took the kids out to lunch, (which I couldn't really afford) and then to the local craft store, which was doing a free craft project for kids. G and K had a great time decorating bookmarks, and picked up a super duty craft epoxy I've been needing with my handy-dandy 50% off coupon.
Since the day was going so well, and it was so beautiful outside, I decided to take the kids to the park. Sitting on a nearby bench, I watched the kids play, squealing with delight, lost in the dusty melee of other screaming, flailing kids. A short while later, the kids discovered their favorite friends were there, and their mom soon joined me on the bench for a rare adult/mommy moment.
After some time, K came over to the bench with her little friend and sat beside me. That's when I noticed something clutched in her hand. It was a gift card from the craft store we had just been at. With a few questions, it was revealed by K that she had taken it from the store. Seething with embarrassed fury, I told her she was in a world of trouble when we got home. She hid under the slides while I gathered up G and headed home.
When we arrived home, I told GH what had happened, and we had a very serious discussion with K about how serious stealing was. We told her how it hurt and embarrassed her family. We told her that it hurt the store and it's employees. We told her that if she was an adult she could go to jail, that stealing was a very serious crime. We talked, she cried, and eventually we sent her to her room for the evening.
Today I took K back to the craft store, stolen gift card in hand. We returned the coloring book I had bought for her yesterday, and asked for the manager. Pulling her aside, I had K explain what she had done, and give the gift card back to manager. I explained that K had to return her coloring book and was grounded for a week and that she understood what she did was very wrong. The manager was very kind and understanding, and we agreed that K would write the store a letter of apology, telling them what she had learned from this experience.
And now I stew, in embarrassment, hurt, and a permeating feeling of crushing failure. This isn't how I raise my children. I know that this happens with most kids at some point, but I guess I didn't think it would be my kids. Does anyone? After all, my kids know how hard we work for every dollar. They've been brought up to respect hard work and the value of everything. Could I somehow have done it wrong?
Since it appears my life has gone completely white-trash this week, looks like I won't be quiting smoking this week either. Maybe I should just grab a Budweiser, turn on WWE and admit defeat....
*UPDATE*
Only a few hours later now, and GH has discovered two more stolen items in K's room. One, a container of bubble gum from Blockbuster. The other, a tube of lip balm from Wal-Mart. She's 5 for God's sake! What is going on with my child?!?!?!
Tomorrow, we're removing the toys from her room for the week, and she will be spending her time in there after school and after dinner. We're hoping a week with no toys at all will teach her to appreciate what she has. She's also not allowed to come with me to the store for a long while. I'm just not sure what to do.
If anyone has any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. Until then, I'll be watching Jerry Springer and preparing for my future.....
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Craptastic-ness
Tuesday on my way to work, I stopped to get gas at the 7-11 as I usually do. They have the cheapest gas in town, but unfortunately only two pumps. Seeing that both pumps were occupied, I pulled into a space in front of the convenience store to wait. Since this was the day I had decided to quit smoking*, I stayed firmly planted in my seat, resisting the urge to go buy a new pack of Camel Lights (*and yes, I smoke. This is a big dark, dirty secret which I have now revealed. In my defence though, I never smoke in the car, or around my children. I only smoke at work where I have the very real potential to go postal)
When I saw the car at the pump closest to me pull away, I sighed heavily in relief. Checking behind me, I began to creep out of the space. I turned my eyes forward for a moment to check my front end, and *BOOM*. BY car jerked to halt, and I began to swear loudly,as I turned behind me to see the rear end of my mommy wagon planted firmly in the side of a small white BMW.
I pulled quickly back into my space, shaking violently and still swearing under my breath. I dug in my purse for a scrap of paper and a pen to exchange insurance information. After asking BMW lady if she was all right, we exchanged our information, both of us flustered and unsure that we had given each other what we needed. There was a swath of white paint on the corner of my bumper, but nothing more. I winced at the dent in her driver's side door, streaked with my car's blue paint.
After our awkward exchange, we both went to the gas pumps, where we stood across from each other pumping gas, trying to avoid each other's gaze. Afterwards? I marched my fanny into the store and bought a pack of cigarettes.
Later that day, my car insurance company called to let me know they had determined I was liable for the damage since I had been pulling into the lane of travel. Even though she had appeared out of nowhere. Even though she was obviously darting in to steal the empty pump. Insurance asshats. I'm still waiting to see what her damage claim is. I'm pretty sure I'll be paying my full $500 deductible. I may have to sell body parts.
Did I mention the lady was driving a BMW? I'm going outside for a cigarette.....
When I saw the car at the pump closest to me pull away, I sighed heavily in relief. Checking behind me, I began to creep out of the space. I turned my eyes forward for a moment to check my front end, and *BOOM*. BY car jerked to halt, and I began to swear loudly,as I turned behind me to see the rear end of my mommy wagon planted firmly in the side of a small white BMW.
I pulled quickly back into my space, shaking violently and still swearing under my breath. I dug in my purse for a scrap of paper and a pen to exchange insurance information. After asking BMW lady if she was all right, we exchanged our information, both of us flustered and unsure that we had given each other what we needed. There was a swath of white paint on the corner of my bumper, but nothing more. I winced at the dent in her driver's side door, streaked with my car's blue paint.
After our awkward exchange, we both went to the gas pumps, where we stood across from each other pumping gas, trying to avoid each other's gaze. Afterwards? I marched my fanny into the store and bought a pack of cigarettes.
Later that day, my car insurance company called to let me know they had determined I was liable for the damage since I had been pulling into the lane of travel. Even though she had appeared out of nowhere. Even though she was obviously darting in to steal the empty pump. Insurance asshats. I'm still waiting to see what her damage claim is. I'm pretty sure I'll be paying my full $500 deductible. I may have to sell body parts.
Did I mention the lady was driving a BMW? I'm going outside for a cigarette.....
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Lameness
I haven't posted lately, and frankly the only excuse I have is that I'm lame. Seriously, the queen of all lameness.
Here are some things I could have blogged about but never found the time for:
- K asked if she could go to a sleepover at a friend's house. I told her, at 5, she's too young to have a sleepover, especially at someone's house who I don't even know. And besides, she didn't even have an invitation. Well, the next day, she brought home an "invitation" that her and her friend had concocted at school. It was hilarious. I meant to take a picture and post it, but it got wet and the ink bled while it was on the counter. Grrrr.
- I received a letter informing me that I had been selected to receive one of the scholarships I had applied for. Now, I only need 9 more in that amount and graduate school will be paid for....
- GH has decided to start a business building computers. He still doesn't have a real job, and school is looming closer.
- I have started walking after dinner with a good friend. We walk around the high school track and let our kids romp around in the grass in the middle. We're up to 2 miles a night. No progress on the waistline yet.
- I'm considering investing in Spanx, a new fancy line of body shapers that are supposed to be comfortable and fabulous all around. I'd like some feedback from anyone who's ever actually worn them before I spend $70 on a pair of underwear. Anyone?
- Most of our snow is finally gone, and I've renewed my vow to plant a veggie garden this year. So far, I've bought seeds and rakes. This year, it's going to happen. I'm just praying my skeezy neighbor won't steal my veggies.
- G continues to do well with the Melatonin. I still love Melatonin.
Here are some things I could have blogged about but never found the time for:
- K asked if she could go to a sleepover at a friend's house. I told her, at 5, she's too young to have a sleepover, especially at someone's house who I don't even know. And besides, she didn't even have an invitation. Well, the next day, she brought home an "invitation" that her and her friend had concocted at school. It was hilarious. I meant to take a picture and post it, but it got wet and the ink bled while it was on the counter. Grrrr.
- I received a letter informing me that I had been selected to receive one of the scholarships I had applied for. Now, I only need 9 more in that amount and graduate school will be paid for....
- GH has decided to start a business building computers. He still doesn't have a real job, and school is looming closer.
- I have started walking after dinner with a good friend. We walk around the high school track and let our kids romp around in the grass in the middle. We're up to 2 miles a night. No progress on the waistline yet.
- I'm considering investing in Spanx, a new fancy line of body shapers that are supposed to be comfortable and fabulous all around. I'd like some feedback from anyone who's ever actually worn them before I spend $70 on a pair of underwear. Anyone?
- Most of our snow is finally gone, and I've renewed my vow to plant a veggie garden this year. So far, I've bought seeds and rakes. This year, it's going to happen. I'm just praying my skeezy neighbor won't steal my veggies.
- G continues to do well with the Melatonin. I still love Melatonin.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Melatonin, You're My Hero!
Wednesday night, we began G on Melatonin as his doctors' suggested for his sleep problems. Every night since has been a small miracle.
Two nights, G was asleep on his book before his reading time was over. Last night, after G bumped his head in bed, I laid down with him, and rubbed his back gently. Before I knew it, he was asleep, breathing deeply, his body still beneath my hand. I was completely stunned.
Even though there have still been meltdowns, G's overall attitude has improved. Last night when he was on the verge of a fit, he even removed himself to his room for a few minutes to shout it out, returning shortly. I've seen him sit quietly, relaxed, instead of spinning and hopping around like a mad man. He has shown me affection I haven't seen in ages, even making me a get well card for my head cold.
It's amazing what a few good nights rest can do. Now if I could only figure out how to get one myself.....
Friday, March 28, 2008
Haiku Friday- Friggin Snow
Woke up this morning
White crap falling from the sky
Spring snow is evil
Had to scrape my car
Thought that was over for now
Should have known better
New England weather
So tired of the snow fall
Beg for it to go
That's right, this morning I woke up to my car coated in snow, while more of it fell from the sky. It's still snowing as I sit here, and they're calling for several inches. Yesterday it was 50 degrees. Sometimes I really hate living in New England...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
G Has Autism
Monday was the day of G's full evaluation, the one we've waited for over a year to receive. We spent the day answering questions, listening to G answer questions, watching G be examined physically, watching as G played and interacted with the doctors. I went through it all, my stomach in knot, wondering what each doctor was writing down, if G was doing things "right".
At the end of the day, we spoke with the doctor while G played computer games in the next room. The first thing that she told us, was that G was astoundingly smart. In fact, he has and IQ of 122 (confirming once and for all that my children are indeed smarter than me). With that said, she went on to explain that G did in fact have a mild case of Aspergers.
Even though we have known that for so long, finally hearing it out loud still hit me, making my brain freeze and stealing the air from my chest for a brief moment.
We were told to start G on Melatonin for his sleep problems, and to look into getting him OT through school, and exploring socialization groups. She advised us to stay calm in the midst of his fits, to help him with joint compressions, and to stop struggling so much over food. She told us to look into the Maine Autism Network, and wished us luck, assuring us that G was a wonderful and extremely bright boy.
And G is still G no matter what. His amazing teacher called me yesterday to let me know she was having G join a new math club at school, and he continued to be a "dear" in his classroom. Last night we struggled through yet another meltdown. Tonight, we will begin the Melatonin. Now that we k now for sure what's going on, we can work to help G the best we can. And maybe find a little help for ourselves along the way.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Haiku Friday- I Did It!!!!!
Letter now in hand.
I can't believe they want me.
My dream coming true.
I did it, got in!
Grad school is in my future.
August starts it all.
Worries, money fears.
I will hardly see the kids.
Hard work and papers.
Can GH do it?
Handle the bills and the kids?
Can this all happen?
That's right, it's happened. The college I've applied to has decided I'm good enough to enter their super selective graduate program to achieve teaching certification and my Master's degree in Education. In 9 short months, they will pack me full of courses, internship hours, and general teaching know-how. In 9 short months, I'll be ready to be a teacher.
The program starts in August and runs through May. I keep telling myself that we'll be able to to it, to sacrifice, and struggle to make this happen. I know I'm asking a LOT of my family. I will hardly see my kids as the days start early and go until around 7pm. Weekends will be full of papers, and research. GH will have to go out and get a real job, and handle the finances, the dinners, the appointments, etc. We will have no money, no time.
This means the next few months will be full of putting away every penny into savings. It will mean enjoying every relaxing moment we share together. It will mean shoring up our resources, preparing, and steeling ourselves for the months to come.
But in the end, I'll be able to become a teacher. I will achieve my dream, and have a real career. I'll be able to start thinking about finally buying a house, and working on other dreams. Sometimes, good things really do happen if you try hard enough, and dream long enough.....
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Being Broke 101
In the many months that GH has been without a job, I've become a bone fide expert on being broke. Yes that's right, broke, not frugal, as frugal is a word for people who actually have money but are saving up for things like a house, a new car, or a fluffy new poodle. Frugal is a word for people who choose to cut back. Broke is a word for those of us who have seen our bank accounts dip below $10.
Now that we've cleared that up, I'm willing to share my broke living tips, free of charge, though frugal people are welcome to send donations- no poodles please.
Broke Ass Tips
1. Ramen Noodles are your friend. Now, I'm not suggesting you feed these to your kids, as their nutritional value is zero, but they are perfect for a cheap lunch for grown ups. After all, I think Ramen is Chinese for "Cheap Ass".You can take them to work. You can eat them at home. You can juggle them for cheap entertainment! Add a few leftover veggies or meats and it's like eating a real meal. If people look at you funny for eating this college dorm staple, just tell them it's a new fabulous diet.
2. Leftovers are also your friend. Never throw out a leftover. NEVER. This is an important commandment of being broke ass. Leftover roast and veggies can be sandwiches, or beef veggie soup. Those mashed potatoes? Tomorrow night's potato pancakes. And don't forget, all leftovers can be put in the freezer for later use. Think like a Native American- every part of the leftover is sacred and useful.
3. Go shopping armed with a list. The grocery list is your most powerful weapon. Use it wisely. Make a list of essentials only. If you can manage to plan ahead for your week's meals, you'll be doing even better. Stick to the list. Remember, Ben & Jerry's is not an essential.
4. Change is awesome. I've always kept an "oh crap" emergency money jar of all my loose change. This is for when I have no money for gas to get to work, or run out of milk before payday. I hide this jar from both GH and the children. However, I'm not above stealing GH's loose change and putting it in the jar if he's foolish enough to leave it laying around. Love this jar. Cherish this jar. Guard this jar with your life.
5. Don't be afraid to be cold. My thermostat has only gone above 66 degrees on a few special occasions this year. Keep your socks on, wear sweaters, and curl up with a blankie. Spring will be here soon. Cheap heating fuel will not.
6. Pipe cleaners- good cheap fun. "Look kids, its a bendy worm. Now it's a G! Here's a K! And er, another worm..."
7. Borrowing. Borrow movies from friends and neighbors. Borrow books from the library. Borrow inspiration and support from other bloggers- after all, you know you'll give it back in the end :)
Of course there's more, but time is money, and I'm off to knit pipe cleaners into the new wardrobe I can't afford.
Please feel free to share your best "Broke Ass" tips.
Now that we've cleared that up, I'm willing to share my broke living tips, free of charge, though frugal people are welcome to send donations- no poodles please.
Broke Ass Tips
1. Ramen Noodles are your friend. Now, I'm not suggesting you feed these to your kids, as their nutritional value is zero, but they are perfect for a cheap lunch for grown ups. After all, I think Ramen is Chinese for "Cheap Ass".You can take them to work. You can eat them at home. You can juggle them for cheap entertainment! Add a few leftover veggies or meats and it's like eating a real meal. If people look at you funny for eating this college dorm staple, just tell them it's a new fabulous diet.
2. Leftovers are also your friend. Never throw out a leftover. NEVER. This is an important commandment of being broke ass. Leftover roast and veggies can be sandwiches, or beef veggie soup. Those mashed potatoes? Tomorrow night's potato pancakes. And don't forget, all leftovers can be put in the freezer for later use. Think like a Native American- every part of the leftover is sacred and useful.
3. Go shopping armed with a list. The grocery list is your most powerful weapon. Use it wisely. Make a list of essentials only. If you can manage to plan ahead for your week's meals, you'll be doing even better. Stick to the list. Remember, Ben & Jerry's is not an essential.
4. Change is awesome. I've always kept an "oh crap" emergency money jar of all my loose change. This is for when I have no money for gas to get to work, or run out of milk before payday. I hide this jar from both GH and the children. However, I'm not above stealing GH's loose change and putting it in the jar if he's foolish enough to leave it laying around. Love this jar. Cherish this jar. Guard this jar with your life.
5. Don't be afraid to be cold. My thermostat has only gone above 66 degrees on a few special occasions this year. Keep your socks on, wear sweaters, and curl up with a blankie. Spring will be here soon. Cheap heating fuel will not.
6. Pipe cleaners- good cheap fun. "Look kids, its a bendy worm. Now it's a G! Here's a K! And er, another worm..."
7. Borrowing. Borrow movies from friends and neighbors. Borrow books from the library. Borrow inspiration and support from other bloggers- after all, you know you'll give it back in the end :)
Of course there's more, but time is money, and I'm off to knit pipe cleaners into the new wardrobe I can't afford.
Please feel free to share your best "Broke Ass" tips.
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